"The Notebook"

So, I just had to watch "The Notebook" for an assignment in my Intro to Interpersonal Communications class. I had never watched this movie before, but had always wanted to. Can I just say OMG!!! This has probably got to be my new all-time favorite movie. This movie just grips your heart and doesn't let go.

As I'm watching this movie, I'm wondering...does this kind of love really exist? Does this kind of love just grip you instantaneously and never let go? Is it possible for everyone to experience this kind of love?

Now, let me just say that I love my boyfriend. I really do. But, it's not the kind of love that was shown in this movie. I've been wavering off an on lately about my relationship. Part of me has been wanting to experience what I saw in the movie. I think as girls, we grow up listening to fairy tales and then as adults, we see these movies that set us up for having unrealistic expectations. But at the same time, it makes me wonder if we're supposed to hold out for that kind of love. But, as I asked before, is it possible for everyone to experience that kind of love if we're patient and wait for the right one? How do you know if you're with the right one?

And, then if we let go of what we have, will we wish we hadn't? Because the grass isn't always greener on the other side. And, we're not ever going to be 100% happy with anyone we're with.

My BF and I have been together for almost 13 years now. And, we've definitely had our ups and downs. And, until recently, I've always thought that we'd be together forever. But, lately I wonder if we will. Lately, I've been wondering if I'm where I'm supposed to be. Sometimes I don't really feel like I am. But, is that just because I'm going through a lot right now and just stressed? I don't know that either.

And, recently, my mother made the comment that she liked my BF because I wouldn't find anyone else to put up with me. Well, first of all, I don't think I'm so bad to "put up with" and secondly, if I am...umm...mother...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Though, I don't claim that!!!! :)

So many questions. As I've said before, I think it must be a midlife crisis. LOL

But, back to the topic, "The Notebook". Such an AWESOME movie. I cried and sighed and just fell in love with it!! I don't think I've ever enjoyed a homework assignment more.

So, what do you all think? Please share your wisdom... :)

Reappearing

Hello everyone! Long time, I know!

Life has been so incredibly busy and stressful this year. And, especially this past semester. So, that's why I haven't been around. I'm afraid that I haven't been dealing with my stress very well at all.

I was researching stress overload online and it suggested that I start a journal. So, I thought I'd start blogging again.

Though, one of the reasons I haven't been blogging is because I haven't really had a lot of positive things to say. And, I don't think everyone wants to hear me griping all of the time! So, I'll try to keep it as positive as possible, but right now my life feels crazy and out of control!

I have actually made an appointment with a new doctor to discuss my options. I hate having to possibly go on meds for anxiety and depression. But, I've recently blown up over very little things. I went home crying and thinking that I needed to do something. I just feel like I should be able to deal with everything I have going on and deal with the stress normally. But, it's not working out that way!

So, here's just a rundown of the craziness that my life has been lately (if you're interested...)

I think what started it off was the fact that my boss hired another secretary to work opposite of me. I, of course, don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with her hiring this other person knowing that she needed the same days off as I did. My boss then tells me that I have to give up one of my days every other week because it's not fair for me to be able to work all of my days and the other girl loses most of hers. I was NOT happy about that at all. I went to human resources and employee relations after trying to work it out with my manager with no progress whatsoever. I was told by human resources/employee relations that each unit's manager makes their own decisions. And, while they were troubled to hear this was happening, there was nothing they could do about it. So, whatever. I angry and not very happy about it, but it is a job...so, aside from finding another job, I couldn't do anything about it. So, I then realize as I'm looking at the schedule that by me giving up a day every other week, this other girl is NOT losing ANY of her hours at all. Now how is it that I've been there for over 2 years and it's ok for me to lose my hours? But, she's only been there a couple of months and she gets ALL of her hours? I have no idea. So, then we're scheduled on the same day and there's absolutely no discussion with me as to which unit I want to work in. I'm told to go to another unit other than my home unit. This is when I blew up!! It makes me feel as if they are catering to her needs and who cares about seniority or taking care of your long time employees. I was SOOO angry, my entire body was literally shaking. I almost walked out. But, a cooler head prevailed because I do need my job.

And, beside all of that with work, I'm having a couple of issues with my sociology instructor. And, along with the rest of the country, I'm having some financial difficulties. And, my boyfriend made some poor decisions that resulted in a lot of money loss.

Those are just the highlights!! LOL I tell ya, when it rains it pours. And, someone said to me that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and it builds character. I know this is true, but I'm kind of thinking we can do it in small increments, can't we? :)

On a positive note, to make up for the hours I'm losing and some of the money we've recently lost, I'm making and selling my fleece blankets. I've gotten one order so far and another woman said she'd be ordering three from me next week.

I've created a website to showcase my work and am thinking about trying to sell some blankets and aprons on Etsy.

I'm also making blankets and aprons to sell at our hospital's craft fair. So, I'm excited about that! If you wanted to put a prayer in to the Big Man for me, I'd appreciate it!!

Well, I guess I'll stop with that for now. I'm sorry I haven't been around, but plan on trying to get caught up with all of you soon. And, with this semester ending in a few weeks (THANK GOD!!), I should have a bit more time to do that. Though, I'll definitely need to work on my home since I've completely neglected it these past few months.

So, until the next time...I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A
WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

Momentary lapse in sanity... :)

{I got the comic from http://www.lasvegasvegas.com/pokerblog/muckit/cartoonweek65.jpg}

Ok...to those of you who read my last two posts {that I deleted}, I wanted to let you know that I am doing fine. I think I was just having a mini-meltdown or going through a midlife crisis. Who knows really?

Up to that point, I had been under a lot of stress and letting things get to me more than they should. Have any of you ever gotten to a point in your life where you wondered how in the world you got to where you are and not sure you're happy with where you're at? I think that's where I was with so many different things. My relationship, the fact that I'm 35 and back in school, I'm not married by now, I want more children {but, now is not a good time}, I just want to be in my career, I'm tired of worrying about money {but, who isn't?}, I'm not 100% happy with my job {but, at least I have a job}...etc, etc, etc.

But, I took a vacation this past week for some much needed relaxation. Though, I haven't really relaxed too much, but at least I didn't have to work this week with my final, Chris having strep throat, my computer crashing and me spending 3 days working on that, blah blah blah... {It may not sound like a lot, but it has definitely kept me busy}

I do have to say that I've been praying and thinking about things and in the end, I always come back to the same thing...I don't have it bad at all. It could be a lot worse, I could not have any of this to worry about, I could not have a home, I could not have a job, I could not have family & friends, I could not have the opportunity to better myself by going to school, I could live in a third world country with no home, no food, etc. I think sometimes, we just get to a place where we let things bother us too much or we take too much on and don't take enough time for ourselves. And, I think that's where I was. But, I know that I am blessed and have a lot to be thankful for. And, that I need to get rid of those things in my life that are bringing me down and to those who don't want to give me the time of day...that's fine, because I have plenty of friends and family and to let one person bring me down is just dumb.

So, anyway...now that I've babbled on and on {as I usually do :)}, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm ok. And, thanks to those who've shown concern! I do appreciate it. And, I'm sorry I haven't been around too much. I feel like I just get busier and busier these days, which isn't necessarily a bad thing...it just doesn't leave me much time for blogging. {And, they blocked the blogs at work!! Hmph...how dare they! :)} But, I will try to get around because I do miss reading about all of your lives!!

"The Climb"

Have many of you heard "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus? I'm not a huge Miley fan, but when I first heard this song a couple of months ago, I instantly loved this song. This song reminds me that it's all the little stuff and how you get to where you want to go that's important. This song embodies how I feel about my dreams and, really, just life. Here are the lyrics:

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

I LOVE THIS SONG!!

Reunion & Concussion

So, this past weekend, I went to a reunion (really, just a gathering of old high school friends).

There was a group of us that used to hang out together in high school and I hadn't seen any of them since our official 5 year reunion. That was 12 years ago, I think! :)

When I got there, they had already started the party since I had to work until 7:30pm. I was a little nervous about going. Not sure why...but, when I got there, it was like no time had passed at all. We sat around just talking for a while and catching up.

But, as the evening went on, we decided to play spoons. I don't know how many of you know what that game is. I hadn't played it since I was in grade school at camp. Well, this wasn't your typical game of spoons...Apparently...it's a contact sport now. People are flying across and down tables to make sure they get a spoon and none of them were shy about trying to come after you to get your spoon! That's how I ended up with a concussion!! One person flew down the table towards me and the top of his head hit me on my forehead above my right eye. Oh man!! It literally knocked my "lights" out. I saw a flash of light and was definitely dazed for about 30 seconds. I didn't really think much about it, I had a headache, of course...but, didn't think I had a concussion.

Well, about three hours later, I'm standing there talking to one of my friends, and I suddenly got so tired, I felt like I couldn't stand there. I got extremely nauseated, broke out in a sweat, and felt a tingling, burning sensation running down my face.

So, as I'm standing there, I don't think my friend realizes how I'm feeling. After about 10 minutes of trying to sustain our conversation, I had to leave. I'm sort of freaking out a little at this point because I've never experienced anything like that before. The burning, tingling sensation down my face is what made me think I maybe should go to the hospital!

Now, for those of you who don't know, I work at a hospital in the ICU. So, I see the worst of things a lot of times. I've seen a good number of subdural hematomas in our unit who didn't know they had a head bleed and they didn't make it. So, I'm thinking...what if I have a head bleed! I'm struggling with whether or not I should go to the ER.

So, I call our charge nurse in my unit and asking her if she thinks I should go to the hospital. And, of course, she says she thinks I should..but can't say for sure.

I drive home and I immediately get on the internet and search my symptoms. Based on what I read, I determined that I had a concussion and I didn't need to go to the ER. But, I was still worried about it. Because, how many people think they'll be ok and then are not? So, I thought...I have to go to work in a few hours, I'll just get checked out when I get to the hospital. Well, I didn't. But, the nurses I talked to said I probably did just have a concussion, but next time, I HAD BETTER GO GET CHECKED OUT!! LOL

I had a headache and was naseaous for a few days, but I'm ok now.

Despite the concussion, I had a GREAT time catching up with old friends and just having a good time. I can't wait to do it again.

So, the point to my story is...ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET WHEN PLAYING SPOONS OR IT MIGHT RESULT IN A CONCUSSION!!

For those of you who don't know what SPOONS is, I've copied the instructions below:

Spoons Card Game

Few cards serve up the kind of excitement that are part of every game of Spoons.

WHAT YOU NEED:
	Deck of cards
	Spoons (one less than # of players)

HOW TO PLAY:
1. The object is to collect four cards of one kind (four twos, four kings and so on) and not to be the person left without a spoon. To begin, place the spoons (one fewer than the number of players) in the center of the table within grabbing reach of all players. Each player is dealt four cards. The dealer keeps the deck.

2. The dealer picks a card from the deck and then discards one card from his hand, sliding it facedown to the player to his left. That player takes it, then picks one card from his hand and passes it to his left.

3. Each player in turn does the same, as quickly as possible. Each person should have four cards in his hand at all times. The player to the right of the dealer places discarded cards in a pile to his left to be used by the dealer when the original deck is used up.

4. Play continues until one player has four of a kind, at which time he takes a spoon from the pile. He may steal the spoon surreptitiously, continuing to pass cards until someone else notices. Or he may grab his spoon, creating a mad rush for spoons at the table.

5. The player left without a spoon has lost the round. If you like to keep score, that player is given an S. As players spell S-P-O-O-N-S, they are out. The player left at the end is the winner.

4 WEEKS!! Really?

Wow...I didn't realize it had been 4weeks since I've blogged! How dare I? lol

Well, I've been super busy with working, school, planning baby & wedding showers at work, planning going away parties, and of course, going to said parties. (Though, most of them were at work!) I'll be posting about those soon (I hope!)

I'll be starting my summer class this coming Wednesday. I'll have that two days/wk. I've already started reading so I don't get behind. I'm a little worried b/c it's accelarated b/c it's a summer class. But, I'm sure I'll be fine.

May has just been a super busy month. We had Mother's Day, my dad's bday, Meagan's bday is this coming Saturday. Meagan's had a dance performance, a skit squad performance and her 8th grade graduation will be this Friday. So, like I said, between family stuff, holidays, work and life...it's just been super busy.

Plus, I've kind of gotten addicted to Facebook! It's like, as soon as I get home, I gotta get on to see what my friends have been up to. I love it because I work 2nd shift and most of my friends and family work a normal day shift job. So, this is how I get to keep up with all of them. Not to mention, I've reconnected with a lot of high school friends through Facebook. A bunch of us actually just met up for our own little reunion this past Saturday. It was a good time. I'll be posting about that too and my concusion that resulted. (Don't worry, I'm fine!)

Well, I hope all of you had a GREAT holiday weekend and remembered our loved ones overseas. Have a MARVELOUS week!

Rock of Love

Ok...I've never been a Brett Michael's fan. I have a lot of friends who just thought he was sooooo hot and loved him. I liked Poison, but wasn't so hot and bothered by Brett Michaels.

So, I'm sure you have seen or heard about his shows, "Rock of Love".

First let me say that I probably wouldn't watch this show if it wasn't for my boyfriend. For some reason (probably the half naked women), he likes this show. He likes the drama of the girls fighting, etc. I, on the other hand, am not a fan. I don't like all of the fighting and bickering. The lying and backstabbing.

But, I watch it anyway.

Can I just say that Brett Michaels is SUCH A HUGE PIG!!!! Every time I watch this show, I am more disgusted by him and the girls that fawn all over him and fall for what he says to them.

The season finale of the 3rd Rock of Love was on last week. So, to the girl Brett doesn't pick, he tells her why he doesn't pick her, but then says, "Come here and let me hold you because you're beautiful." Are you freaking serious?!?! If someone that just broke up with me said that to me, I think I would slap him. I don't care if you're Matthew McConnehy (who I think is soooo hot by the way!!)

I mean, he just says the most sexist, piggish things. I swear, I yell at the tv everytime I'm watching it. Chris thinks it's hysterical. I think he likes to watch it with me so he can laugh at all of my commentary (which he does)!

And, then at the reunion last night...the girl he dumped is called up to the stage and they engage in a very long, heated kiss. Seriously!! You're with another girl. I don't care if you're Brett Michaels of Poison...can you please be respectful?!?!?!

So, I think Brett Michaels is a sexist pig, jerk, a**hole, and any other names I can think of!! I just wanted to get that out. Thanks for indulding!! :)

Stanky Leg

Ok...I was just introduced to this song a couple of days ago, courtesy of Ally in Wonderland.

I was at Ally's blog and she had a reference and link to this song. So, of course, the name had my attention and I immediately went there to hear this song.

This song SOOO cracks me up. So, I'm thinking that really this dance has been around...but, it just wasn't given a name or concentrated on.

So, to those of you who haven't heard the song...here it is.

You should have seen my and my boyfriend up doing the Stanky Leg. It's a good time!!

I say, let's declare this..."Do the Stanky Leg Day"

Come on now...you know you wanna!!

Update on Nursing School

Ok..to those of you wondering about my journey towards nursing school...

I was yet again put on the waiting list. Needless to say, I was a little upset about that. I'm ready to get on with it and get into my career.

So, I was mad for like a day. But, then I realized that everything happens for a reason and maybe it's just not time for me yet and I should quit trying to rush things!!

I went in to talk to the counselor to find out why I was put on the waiting list again this year. I was told that since I had gotten "C"s in Chemistry and Biology in high school, I didn't meet their requirements to get in. However, I could re-take these classes online through someone they are affiliated with at $350/class. (I sort of think they have an agreement with this person that they would say that "C"s are not acceptable. Hello...that's average!)

It's funny how different colleges have different requirements. Because at the college I'm attending now, they accepted those grades (also considering they were 17 years ago!) and I'm now taking Anatomy & Physiology with a "B", almost and "A" in the class. Anyway...

So, I've decided to just stay with the college I'm attending now. It's too late to get into the nursing program for this fall. So, I'm either going to apply for the Spring semester or wait until Fall '10.

My sister has decided that she wants to go to nursing school now. So, if she can catch up with the gen ed classes by Fall '10, I'll wait until then. It would be nice to have someone there with me that I know and that I can study with.

So, that's the 411 on my progress with nursing school.

Everything happens for a reason. And, I'm thinking I should have always stuck with my current college since it's much less expensive than the school I applied to. It just would have been good for me to get into the school I applied to because I would have gotten done sooner...that is if I had gotten in!

Baby Got Back & Burger King?

Has anyone seen the new commercial for Burger King?

It's like a music video promoting BK kid's meal.

I have to say that I am a fan of Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back". I used to dance to it all the time in the clubs. And, well, I still dance around to it at home and rap it to my friend's and family's dismay! haha

However, I do not think that it's appropriate to promote kid's meals with that song.

They are promoting a Sponge Bob Square Pants toy in every kid's meal.

I'll put the video on here for you to see if you haven't seen it yet.

Anyway...I just wanted to voice my opinion of it. Like I said, I am a fan, but not when you put this song to a video of women, appearing to have square butts and shakin' their booties promoting something for children. And, at the end of it, you have Sir Mix-A-Lot saying a butt's a butt.

I don't know...maybe it's just me...but, I didn't like it.